Are you dating a man 10 or more years older than you? If he’s not Hugh Heffner, Al Pacino, Michael Douglas, Jack Nicholson, Bruce Willis or Robert DeNiro he MUST be bringing AWESOMENESS to the table. Let me explain.
Many times we (women) look for an older man because we have this belief that being older makes him stable. And often times, that stability is just not there.
He can’t just possibly be telling you this, “I’m a good man who is loyal. I love you and I only want to have sex with you. I’m struggling to make ends meet myself, so please don’t think I can take care of you or help you in any way. I’ve suffered a major financial blow because of my divorce so don’t think I’m looking for a wife. I’m in no place to offer you anything except loyal sex”.
If you’re a woman 10 years younger or more than the man you’re dating, here are things to consider and/or look for:
- You may think because he’s older he has more time, patience, money, skills in the bed or with raising kids than younger men. But more times than not, that’s not true.
- There’s probably a reason why women his age don’t want to date him.
- If he has a house/place, is it furnished or is it empty? Is it kept up is it falling apart? Look in his kitchen. What about his pantry? HIS HOUSE will be the NUMBER 1 sign of how he’s doing in life and it will show you what he values.
- You may think he’s got his life in order but many older men STRUGGLE with paying their bills, mainly because lots of them are still paying child support and/or because a divorce devastated them financially.
- You may think he’ll value spending time with you but he’ll either be working more (to get ready for retirement or just playing catch-up) or he’s got hobbies he’s not willing to put second before you. PERIOD
- You may think he’s responsible but his vice is an $800 to $1,000 a month expense, such as gambling, drinking, smoking or a combination of the above.
- Between 40 -55 there are more frequent malfunctions in the penis department. It’s just not as erect as it was when he was younger. PERIOD
- Because of hormonal changes in him such as levels of testosterone dropping, he also becomes moody, tired and sex is less frequent. <– Yes. That’s awful. It’s the equivalent of menopause for men.
- Because of that you may feel dissatisfied in the sex department because as a younger woman you want sex OFTEN, maybe even daily but he can’t keep up.
- Hormonal changes will also cause him to gain weight and/or go bald.
- As he ages the potential for age related illnesses and diseases rises. And he’ll need someone to care for him. ARE YOU WILLING TO BE HIS NURSE? ARE YOU COVERED BY HIM WITH ANY LIFE INSURANCE? What happens if you do take care of him until he dies? Who and what compensates you for those years? LOVE? Love has never paid for anything. Ask him now that he’s 50 and broke and he’ll confirm, love doesn’t pay any bills.
- A relationship with an older man will feel like a honeymoon for months until he can’t keep that up anymore. Why? Because to him you’re his fountain of youth. You make him feel like The Dos Equis Man. You know, the old man from the beer commercial. Every man over 50 wants to be him. But once all his friends know you and the novelty of having a younger girlfriend wears off, he will get comfortable and start treating you like he did his ex-wife! YIKES!
If a man is only offering you sex and mediocre sex at best, even on his best Viagra day… If that’s all he’s offering, GIRL RUN!
But what if he has his OWN house/place but he is mostly staying with YOU? You can Google this but you may charge a romantic partner, YES A FEE $$. Is he spending more than 3 days a week at your place, every week? Is he washing clothes at your house EVERY WEEK? Is he drinking coffee and eating breakfast? I promise you if YOU were staying at his place 25 days out of the month he would NOT be feeding you for free. As a matter of fact , I would dare to say he wouldn’t be ok with you staying over at his house 25 days a month, period. Many older men are just free loaders that are smooth talkers. Wolves in sheep’s clothing.
If he’s not willing to BE YOUR MAN, by LOVING YOU, PROTECTING YOU, PROVIDING FOR YOU and committing to you in EVERY WAY then from the very beginning HE IS A LIABILITY.
In every relationship, you both need to be an asset to the other. Too many older men who have NOTHING TO OFFER are running around here overweight, bald, with vices, financial troubles, health issues and life issues but want a woman who is young, fine, sexy, smart, witty, exotic and with her own money. But he just can’t come close to a woman like that. Once he has her, he becomes intimidated by her and her ambition.
If you’re a woman who dates older men and your sister or mother didn’t tell you these things, consider me your wiser girlfriend who loves you and is looking out for you.
Now, don’t go getting mad thinking ALL OLDER MEN are like what I’ve described above. If he LOVES you, is committed to you, wants the best for you, is offering you what he’s got to the best of his abilities then GREAT! Make it work. Love your man hard and be HIS PRIZE. You better make him feel like the Dos Equis Man. Put him on a pedestal. Let the world know you appreciate him and love him like no other. He’ll love you until his grave for it. But if he’s what I’ve described above… Walk away, now. No, wait. RUN!
Young women, beware of dating a man 10 years older than you for more than a year and that relationship is not progressing. In the end, when it doesn’t work out you will have wasted precious time and you won’t be as young anymore, either.