This is the 3rd time in 4 days this topic has come up in conversations with different people, so I thought I’d write a post about it.
Do you stay in a relationship for the kids?
The truth is most women will stay in a bad relationship/marriage out of fear. Will I be able to make it on my own? Can I afford to pay to run a household on my own? Do I make enough money? It’s not for the kids but they will justify staying in the relationship by saying they won’t give their kids another dad, etc… <– Speaking from personal experience.
Men, on the other hand, usually stay out of fear that she will take the kids and not let him see them or go move to some “bad” part of town because she can’t afford to live the way he had them living.
Children deserve to grow up watching mommy and daddy in a committed, HAPPY relationship where they HONOR and RESPECT each other and the children see them meeting each other’s needs. Otherwise, what are you teaching your children? To be unhappy? Where do they learn how a man should treat a woman and a woman treat a man?
We all make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes involve having children with the wrong person. Both men and women need to stop staying together out of FEAR. I’ve always said that most humans make FEAR based decisions. Why do men and women stay together? It can be summed up like this… Because it’s the EASIEST thing to do.
If the relationship is beyond repair… Exit amicably. Men can have custody as well. Just do what’s right for the children and put yourself first. It’s like being in an airplane… Put your mask on first and then save the children. You MUST put yourself first. You can’t give what you don’t have. So, go be happy!
I personally believe in divorce or breaking up.
You should want to be in a relationship where every morning when you open your eyes you both know that you choose to stay together and not stay in a relationship because “We have no other choice”. That’s a victim mentality and not empowering for anyone in the relationship, especially the children. Have the COURAGE for yourself. Your children will thank you for it!