You as a woman of value meet a man in this place in his life. When you fall in love with him (which is commendable knowing he has not MUCH to offer RIGHT NOW), you immediately see yourself helping him rebuild and creating a great future with him. Because you know what he brings to the table now and what you bring to the table now you guys can make some strides! When you put what you both have together, it will be a win for everyone! Plus, women are visionaries so we’re always thinking ahead.
If you’re willing to look past his lack of education, class, his upbringing, the kids he raised or DIDN’T raise… Then YOU’RE LYING TO YOURSELF. What do you REALLY agree on or have in common? Great sex? Please, take out a piece of paper and write out all the PROS and CONS of you staying with this man. His list of PROS about you will always be longer than your list of PROS about him. So, go ahead. Write your list. Facts don’t lie.
Sometimes, divorce is no longer the reason while he’s struggling. He’s struggling because he’s SELFISH.
What did he do for your birthday?
Does he ALWAYS come over after he’s done EVERYTHING he wanted to do? The game, drinking, smoking, gambling, golfing.
Do you ONLY go on dates the HE PLANS? And those are not even once a month.
How many times do you things he doesn’t like to do but you do?
Does he sleep over at YOUR place all the time?
Is he doing his laundry at YOUR place all the time?
Does he watch the game/news/tv at your house all the time?
Does he use your internet all the time to work or just play computer games or app games?
Does he pay for your power, cable, internet, buy detergent… ALL THE TIME?
When you get sick does he stay with you and take care of you or does he go back to his place and calls you just once to check on you. No soup, no getting your favorite anything and bringing it to you.
If the answer to those questions is a negative one then you don’t have a man who is struggling because of divorce. You have a man who is struggling because he’s selfish and selfish people are ONLY in it for THEMSELVES. The minute they need to stretch out of their comfort zone and do something for YOU… They won’t be around too much longer.
I have a joke I share with my clients; “If you wanna test your man’s commitment to you just ask him for HELP in any area. Money, fixing things, with your kids, your car etc… Oh, what’s that? He left? Yeah… There’s your answer.
However, if you have a man who values you and he’s a hard worker and he’s providing for himself and his children to the best of his abilities. But when you sit with him he tells you how much he loves you and he almost beats himself for not having more to offer, whether financial or material but he’s being the best man he can be and you start to consider a future together and the both of you see how pulling both of your resources together can make life easier for everyone… Then hang in there with that guy. He deserves a woman who believes in him, honors him and caters to him. The second half of life can be SO MUCH BETTER for the both of you. Why? Because you’ve learned from your mistakes already.